You ' re Not Weak or Broken or Incompetent Because You Need Help

Why Interdependence is a much healthier approach than stubborn independence.

My grandmother almost passed, without anyone knowing.

I knew she was struggling, so I'd call her from time to time and ask how she was doing.

She would always say things like "I know you're so busy, I never want to call you in case you're doing something important."

My grandma was fiercely independent and she almost never asked anyone for help

Eventually, the cancer in her body got so bad she passed out unconscious one day. She would have died without anyone knowing for potentially days or weeks... if my uncle didn't have a regular weekly call with her, and sent someone over when she didn’t pick up one week.

From this experience, I understood, on a visceral level, how dangerous being STUBBORNLYINDEPENDENT could be.

I have long regarded my independence,which I definitely inherited from her, as one of my most positive and powerful character strengths.

My absolute strength in myself and who I am, my independence, my self-esteem, and my confidence has enabled me to do what I do and live how I live. It is fundamental to my embodied awareness of what it means to be a sovereign person. Embodying strength and independence allows me to make critical decisions in all areas of my life, such as health, fitness, relationships, and career.

But we are all INTER-dependent. We all have needs

You need farmers to grow food so you can eat. You need engineers to make cars so you can get to work. You need your friends to feel emotionally satisfied in life. You need to see the doctor when you get sick. Come high come low, We all must be faced with our own vulnerability.

You need to be able to ask for help in order to fulfill your life's purpose.

And we will ALL be
at the complete mercy of another human,
at point or another in our lives,
especially when we least expect it, or desire it.

When either the shoulder girdle or pelvic girdle are not functioning properly, it puts extra strain on your musculoskeletal system, and sometimes your nervous system too!

We all depend on each other to get our needs met. Nobody is an island.

So after her passing, I took some time to absorb this lesson fully.

I allowed myself to absorb the risk and the reality of being TOO independent.

I saw where I was isolating myself in an effort to avoid “taking up too much space" in someone else's life.

And I started opening up and asking for help.

I invested a lot in courses in areas I wanted to grow in.

I asked other coaches if they'd be open to trade gifts.

I finally hired some people to delegate tasks that are not my forte.

I finally told some friends about my struggles.

I made some long social media posts.

And not once has anyone shamed me for it... in fact, my community is drawn closer... I know it is safe to trust. And trust is necessary for anything to make a large impact.

Without trust and vulnerability, we wear masks and hide our true selves in fear of "being a burden.” But I am challenging that story. I am changing that narrative.

This is a false story which will only leave us isolated, and feeling ashamed and guilty of our natural needs, which were made to be met willingly and readily by our community.

I am now seeing those “burdens” as someone else’s opportunity to gift their service to your highest self, and receive satisfaction and pleasure in the process.

That's right - it can BE A JOY FOR OTHER PEOPLE TO HELP YOU.

You know that feeling when you go out of your way to do something nice for someone else? That really amazing positive high-vibe feeling you get? I'm sure that you do these things all the time for another person... especially someone you care about or love.

Thus, why not allow yourself to receive the same in kind?

This newsletter today been a result of months of inner exploration.

It's taken me a while, and a lot of it is a very quiet inner process, but I am actively softening my edges and letting myself be seen in the places where I need help.

Questions for Your Own Self-Reflection

• Where are you needing to ask for help?
• What comes up for you around the process of asking for help?
• What stories are you telling yourself about your needs? Are you taking responsibility for them and validating them... or holding them hostage with unexamined beliefs
• How comfortable are you making requests of others to hold space for you?
• Where are you denying your loved ones the blessing and the opportunity to help you?

Reply back and let me know... can't wait to hear from ya’.

PS - if you need someone to talk to about life transition, mobility training, relationships, or anything else... please feel free to schedule a free consult with me.

I am leaving you today with this new mantra to help you practice this idea of reciprocity and interdependence as a healthy balance in your daily life:

"AST gwve. $6 I Shalt Receive.’