The Power of Gentle Accountability
Jul 21, 2021
If you’re like most of my students, you might be in process of making your way back to a consistent health and fitness practice after a hiatus, injury, or stressful life event.
And in the middle of all that, it’s really easy to kind of hard on yourself.
That’s why lately I’ve been teaching a lot about the power of gentle accountability.
Where instead of pushing, striving, and efforting our way into disciplined practice around things we know are good for us (but still don’t end up doing), we let go of the striving and keep the root goal, but approach it in a much gentler way.
It’s like knowing you *should* floss, but you tell yourself you’re too tired to do it, then you beat yourself up the next day for not flossing. It reiterates a negative thought cycle and erodes self trust in a small way, bevause you didn’t do what you told yourself you were going to.
Maybe this sounds familiar:
Maybe you, like many other students, get caught up comparing yourself to an idealized *past former glory self* who *did the thing.*
Your thoughts might sound out as “I used to X but now I can’t because Y.” For example “I just cant lift as much as I used to- plus my joints hurt! Its because I’m just getting old.”
Or “yeah I was a high school athlete and my team won the championship and then I had to go to work and stopped working out.”
Or”wow I PR’d 150 pounds on a benchpress 2 years ago and I’m not even half that right now.”
Or “I could sink a basket from half court and I’m super rusty.”
Or whatever arbitrary (externally focused) measurement of you USED to hold onto as a sign of health, fitness, and success.
Either way, maybe you are being a little hard on yourself, or trying to “push” your way into more capacity, or rushing the healing process, or basically doing everything you can to get to the next level from a place of self-punishment vs self-love.
How to Overcome this Block
By holding onto these thoughts, you are THROWING AWAY your personal power, and your ability to control and effect changes in the PRESENT moment.
While those metrics and measurements might have served you and been relevant then, they’re not relevant anymore.
But you can only live life forward; you aren’t going back that way; and you have to do what you can with what you have right now.
Move beyond the past, move beyond the stories, move beyond goals that lost their relevance or pull.
Now is your best moment to reclaim mastery over yourself.
You get to choose a new story to tell yourself anytime that you choose!
Just One Question for Crystal Clear Clarity
With gentle accountability, you are both taking ownership over your outcomes, and being compassionate toward yourself about what those outcomes look like.
it can be as simple as asking yourself one question…
“Is the story I’m telling myself right now in alignment with my truest self?”
How we tell stories to ourselves can literally change our perception of pain. Pain gets processed twice: first when it happens, and second when we recall it.
So our ability to overcome pain is llargelyinfluenced by how we relate to ourselves… and this is a beautiful thing because we can always change the inner narratives.
Stories can be internalized as deeply held core beliefs. Beliefs either chain your heart shut or set you free to be open.
No matter the narrative tsunami we face, or the judgments others try to impose, we can always be that kind and curious presence— for ourselves—which wants to know what is actually true inside our heart, and thus to know us as we really are.
What does your inner dialogue show about the story you are telling yourself?
Comment and let me know. I’m excited to hear.
If you want me to help you get back on track, let’s talk about it.
If you want me to help you get back on track, let’s talk about it.
